We’re going to discuss men’s brains versus women’s brains and how they are very different from each other. I want to start with men’s brains. Now, men’s brains are unique. Men’s brains are made up of little boxes. We have a box for everything: a box for the car, a box for the money, a box for the job, a box for you, a box for the kids, a box for your mother somewhere in the basement. We have boxes everywhere, and the rule is the boxes don’t touch. When a man discusses a particular subject, we go to that particular box, we pull that box out, we open the box, and we discuss only what is in that box. Then we close the box and put it away, being very, very careful not to touch any other boxes. Women’s brains are very, very different from men’s brains. Women’s brains are made up of a big ball of wire. Everything is connected to everything. The money is connected to the car, the car is connected to your job, and your kids are connected to your mother. Everything is connected. Everything! It’s like the Internet superhighway, and it’s all driven by energy that we call “emotions.” It’s one of the reasons why women tend to remember everything. Because if you take an event and you connect it to an emotion, it burns in your memory and you can remember it forever. The same thing happens for men; it just doesn’t happen very often because, quite frankly, we don’t care. Women tend to care about everything! And they just love it. Now, men, we have a box in our brain that most women are not aware of. This particular box has nothing in it. True, true. In fact, we call it the “nothing box.” Of all the boxes a man has in his brain, the nothing box is our favorite box. If a man has a chance he’ll go to his nothing box every time. That’s why a man can do something seemingly completely brain dead for hours on end, like fishing. And we love it. That’s why a guy can sit in front of a TV and space out. It glows—ahhhh. Of course, this drives our wives nuts, because they’ll come to us and say, “Stop that. You can’t possibly be watching everything!” “I’m not. Go away.” They’ve actually measured this. A couple of years ago, the University of Pennsylvania did a study that discovered that men have the ability to think about absolutely nothing and still breathe. They connected all the wires and stuff like that, measured the brain activity, and all of a sudden—nothing. Women can’t do it—their minds never stop. They don’t understand the nothing box, and it drives them crazy, because nothing drives a woman crazier and makes her feel more irritated than when a man is doing nothing! This just drives her nuts.
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